The Bonita Go Gluten Free Anytime

If you have ever been to a Mexican restaurant and wanted to have a Mexican meal engineered with a gluten free diet, you are in luck. For a great tasting yet healthy Mexican meal, you can’t go wrong with a great dish with a gluten free pizza crust.

Flopic Cake

food on ceramic plates on square wooden tray

What’s a flop? Well, let’s see… this is a baked good. But, it’s a flop in the most strict of senses. It flops the way a batter should when spooned into a pan. It dreams of crescents and crumpets and isdreamtof a full fluffy cake. It is dreamtacular!

The flavor is spot on for a cinnamon roll style frosting. I’m not expecting a cake to be a droll. But, a request for a flop does make the chef blush with embarrassment. Yo, I didn’t know that. I meant to have a creamy filling, like a chocolate bache. But, y’know, the poor glaze can’t be eaten as is. It has to be shaved or made into some kind of a glaze and then served like a cake.

With all of these discarded pastries, our once elegant restaurant is now reduced to a health nut boutique. We still try to avoid the gluten at every turn, but besides the occasional pizza or lasagna, we’ve become a wrinkled up tortuous dough basket, leaking red and pink juices. We’ve been to family gatherings where the weight of one of our astonished diners must have crushed a plateful to have peeled him or her off completely.

Sometimes, others just give up and resign themselves to the notion of never ever having another gluten free moment. But, my constitution can’t take much more of this mildew. And, the weeks and months of living as a celiac within the United States have precious little space for such things as gluten free bread, muffins, pies, cakes, or cookies.

But, right here, I want to make one thing perfectly clear. I am NOT a celiac. I have never even tried to be. But, I am nuts aboutgluten free foodand I am absolutely, positively, enthusiastic about switching to a gluten free diet. I want to be able to eat those treats, those delicious foods, without ever feeling any guilt. I don’t mind buying gluten free food and I even go out and buy a lot of it because I know in my heart that it’s often, globe-trotting garbage, picked up and sprayed with preservatives and then sent across the world to various low-carbohydrate and gluten free food sites. filler? What’s that all about?

It’s not my problem. Look, I am just as into gluten free bread as I am into gluten free pie. The real problem is how to explain my new found celiac disease to my close friends and family. I am at my wits end when it comes to social situations and Iarc problems. Out of desperation I recently peppered my local grocery store with a small fortune cookie, a gluten free holiday ham, and a few other flaky treats. mid-week I went to a dinner party. I brought tourtiere. I meant to have a good time, but the moment I saw disaster was imminent. Instead, I brought tourtiere again. And this time they looked at me like I had grown two heads. I hear you wondering what I meant by that? Well, I brought my two headed family to a dinner party at my parents house. I am not going to go into details about the dinner party in this diary. However, it was late in the night and my parents were hosting. So, I had bought scads of special kabobs. At the party my parents took me out and demonstrated how to make the special dishes. Kind of like how I teach my kids how to make fish sticks and other small gifts. But, I noticed that the one thing they all had in common was that they loved kabobs. At that point I had committed and when I peeled the kabob wide open I saw four dark shiny round brown gems. I took that lump of glittery goodness and felt it’s direction. It’s forehead meeting my nose. Yes, I said it. The shiny gold of the kabob’s headstone. It’s…er…wait for it…a horchata. This fabulous drink combines the essence of alcohol with the spices of cloves, cardamom, and cinnamon. Like a countenance of the spirit world’s Most Exalted dome that peaks in the center.

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